Parenting Lessons from the Story of Maryam
Surah Aali Imraan, 35-39
إِذۡ قَالَتِ ٱمۡرَأَتُ عِمۡرَٲنَ رَبِّ إِنِّى نَذَرۡتُ لَكَ مَا فِى بَطۡنِى مُحَرَّرً۬ا فَتَقَبَّلۡ مِنِّىٓۖ إِنَّكَ أَنتَ ٱلسَّمِيعُ ٱلۡعَلِيمُ (٣٥) فَلَمَّا وَضَعَتۡہَا قَالَتۡ رَبِّ إِنِّى وَضَعۡتُہَآ أُنثَىٰ وَٱللَّهُ أَعۡلَمُ بِمَا وَضَعَتۡ وَلَيۡسَ ٱلذَّكَرُ كَٱلۡأُنثَىٰۖ وَإِنِّى سَمَّيۡتُہَا مَرۡيَمَ وَإِنِّىٓ أُعِيذُهَا بِكَ وَذُرِّيَّتَهَا مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَـٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ (٣٦) فَتَقَبَّلَهَا رَبُّهَا بِقَبُولٍ حَسَنٍ۬ وَأَنۢبَتَهَا نَبَاتًا حَسَنً۬ا وَكَفَّلَهَا زَكَرِيَّاۖ كُلَّمَا دَخَلَ عَلَيۡهَا زَكَرِيَّا ٱلۡمِحۡرَابَ وَجَدَ عِندَهَا رِزۡقً۬اۖ قَالَ يَـٰمَرۡيَمُ أَنَّىٰ لَكِ هَـٰذَاۖ قَالَتۡ هُوَ مِنۡ عِندِ ٱللَّهِۖ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَرۡزُقُ مَن يَشَآءُ بِغَيۡرِ حِسَابٍ (٣٧) هُنَالِكَ دَعَا زَڪَرِيَّا رَبَّهُ ۥۖ قَالَ رَبِّ هَبۡ لِى مِن لَّدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةً۬ طَيِّبَةًۖ إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ ٱلدُّعَآءِ (٣٨) فَنَادَتۡهُ ٱلۡمَلَـٰٓٮِٕكَةُ وَهُوَ قَآٮِٕمٌ۬ يُصَلِّى فِى ٱلۡمِحۡرَابِ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُبَشِّرُكَ بِيَحۡيَىٰ مُصَدِّقَۢا بِكَلِمَةٍ۬ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ وَسَيِّدً۬ا وَحَصُورً۬ا وَنَبِيًّ۬ا مِّنَ ٱلصَّـٰلِحِينَ (٣٩)
(Remember) when the wife of ‘Imrân said: “O my Lord! I have vowed to You what (the child that) is in my womb to be dedicated for Your services (free from all worldly work; to serve Your Place of worship), so accept this, from me. Verily, You are the All-Hearer, the All-Knowing.” (35) Then when she gave birth to her [child Maryam (Mary)], she said: “O my Lord! I have given birth to a female child,” – and Allâh knew better what she brought forth, – “And the male is not like the female, and I have named her Maryam (Mary), and I seek refuge with You (Allâh) for her and for her offspring from Shaitan (Satan), the outcast.” (36) So her Lord (Allâh) accepted her with goodly acceptance. He made her grow in a good manner and put her under the care of Zakariyâ (Zachariya). Every time he entered Al-Mihrâb to (visit) her , he found her supplied with sustenance. He said: “O Maryam (Mary)! From where have you got this?” She said, “This is from Allâh.” Verily, Allâh provides sustenance to whom He wills, without limit.” (37) At that time Zakariyâ (Zachariya) invoked his Lord, saying: “O my Lord! Grant me from You, a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation.” (38) Then the angels called him, while he was standing in prayer in Al-Mihrâb (a praying place or a private room), (saying): “Allâh gives you glad tidings of Yahya (John), confirming (believing in) the Word from Allâh [i.e. the creation of ‘Īsā (Jesus) A.S., the Word from Allâh (“Be!” – and he was!)], noble, keeping away from sexual relations with women, a Prophet, from among the righteous.” (39)
- Told about Maryam, the mother of ‘Eesa. She’s a very important figure in Islam, a woman with many noble character and qualities. Her name is permanately attached to the name of ‘Eesa – the only prophet mentioned with the name of his parent.
- We are told about the birth of Maryam – we go back in the Qur’an all the way back then.
- The wife of Imran – the mother of Maryam – makes this du’aa. Her intention with her child was that it would first and foremost serve Allah and His deen. It is a very noble and high expectation for your child.
- When the parents have a proper perspective and are focused with their child, their child will go on to meet their expectations.
- She then gave birth to a daughter which apparently complicated issues. A boy is understood – it can serve the deen. She knows boys and girls are different.
- The parents of Maryam did not lose their focus. They left it up to Allah. They named her Maryam – a good, pure, beautiful name – meant the one who worships. It is a name inclined towards the worship and devotion of Allah. Now they put their trust in Allah and asked Him to protect her.
- Allah lovingly and in the best manner accepted the sacrifice that the parents of Maryam made.
- This is the result of the focus and understanding. Allah raised her in the most beautiful manner – she grew up to be devoted and dedicated to Allah.
- Parents have a major role in the way their children grows up. It doesn’t work to criticize them when they grow up – what was your focus earlier on?
- Allah swt put her into the care of Zakariyya, a Prophet of Allah, her Uncle.
- She was provided an avenue to learn directly from a Prophet, who was her teacher and mentor. The foundation was strong and solid so everything after was strong and solid.
- She is so focused that even her teacher, a Prophet, was learning from her.
- Zakariyya entered at one point to find her eating something out of the season and asked where she got it. She simply said Allah gave it to me. Shows why are you confused? Allah can give to whoever He wants, however He wants.
- Zakariyya and his wife were so old but still really badly wanted kids. He realized that Allah is not bound by any restriction so made du’aa right then and there. He asked for good, beautiful, pious children. The good news came to him when he was still standing in the mihraab. He was sent the news of a son named Yahyaa who would also be a Prophet.
- When the Parents have the intention, look at the result.
- What gets in the way of putting religion first and foremost? We worry about finances, respect, job, living good lives. Right away, Shaytaan scares your from poverty. Allah shows us otherwise.
- Allah has chosen Maryam and purified her and chosen her over all the women of the entire world.
- That same girl that her parents made du’aa for, Allah has preserved her in the Qur’an, chosen her over all the women. Her name is a name we name our daughters with.
- She was the bearer of the miraculous conception and birth of ‘Eesa (as). She had such great honour.
- We know we want our kids to go to Ivy League schools and marry beautiful, high lineage person. Do we have the religious goals set out too? To be a hafidh, a scholar, to be informed of their deen?
- Look what this woman, this girl was able to do. We should NEVER underestimate what our daughters, women, can do for the deen. Maryam ended up serving deen in such an extraordinary manner. Teach our girls to aspire to contribute great things to the Ummah.
Share the Khayr.